Matri Gulumaal
December 7, 2009
One year ago:
My two elder brothers(with a tone of arrogance as usual) :”Edee..it would not be difficult for us to get partners as the sex ratio in Kerala is 1058 Females/1000 Males. But that is not the case with you.If you don’t want to fall in that extra 58, just give green signal and we will get someone for you..”
Me (with an irritated tone as usual) : Hmph!!When time comes I will get my man.Please stop these non sense!!
Seasons changed..Many of my friends got married and this news hit my parents like a thunderbolt(idithee veena pole) and other friends started searching for their partners.It was then, I slowly realised that eligible bachelors are on the verge of extinction.All good guys are either committed/married or fathers.Seconds after this shocking and painful realisation, I saw myself with my bruised ego giving green signal for my partner hunt, without knowing that it would take away my peace in all sense.
Then everything got changed.
First visible change was with my mother.She started visiting our family astrologer with umpteen number of horoscopes downloaded from different matrimonial sites and used to come back home depressed by the knowledge that not even one horoscope was matching with mine.She became less interested in her television soaps and all the time she would say something about raahu,sukran,sani,grahanila,paapajaathakam and all.Subjects of neighbourhood talks including Paarijaatham serial actor/Kavya Madhavan/cooking recipe and all pure ladies stuff gave way to my horoscope.My horoscope was getting a heroic image with all these incidents.
My father became an active member of NSS(a society for Nairs) and he even took up the Secretary’s position so that he would be the person with largest number of friends and he dreamt that someone would bring a nice proposal to his daughter.
My brothers became full time online cursing the matrimonial sites and clearing the photo matches/matrimonial alerts from their inbox and requesting handsome guys to marry their intelligent sister.
I didn’t bother to involve in all these things and I went on with my duties which doesn’t include the most boring job of searching a partner.
Once in a month my mother would show me a profile of a guy whose horoscope is matching with mine and who satisfies the criteria of the other 4 in my family(It is very difficult to pass through the extreme criteria set by my parents and brothers.) and would seek my opinion.I would say NO and each time give a different reason.
The latest reason :
Mom : Mole..This is an ideal match for you..As you say he has got an attitude.
Me : Has he written in his profile that he has got an attitude??
Mom : Ashae..Stop your play.Astrologer told his horoscope matches with your’s.S/W Engineer in Banglore.Handsome too..I liked him..And you know what ?(mirthfully)He is from Thrissur.(By the way, my mom doesn’t like people from South Kerala especially from Trivandrum and Kollam.No offence intended.For your information, my father is from Kollam. 
)
I didn’t want to miss a handsome guy with attitude because that was like a no_smiley_blog* in internet.Very rare to see.So I glanced at the picture to know whether I am getting some feeling.(My chechi has told that we will get a feeling when we see our man’s photo).I didn’t get that feeling and I wanted to find a new reason to tell NO.
Me : What is his D.O.B?Mom : Jun 22nd 1981
Me : (With a shocking face)Ho..NOOO..CANCER..
Mom : What??Who is having cancer??
Me: (in a convincing tone)Amme..He is a cancerian.Aries-Cancer combination is hard to match.
Mom :*What??* Is this your new criteria??You are an educated girl and don’t you know that these are all fake??I don’t have belief in this.(Godde..Who is saying this??)
Me : Amme..This is true..I believe in zodiac signs as much as you believe in horoscopes. I would prefer to marry a Leo who is the ideal match for Aries.(Immediately opened up a zodiac sign compatability site).Achan’s sign is Libra and your’s is Taurus.Look.. “Taurus is possessive and enjoys staying at home while Libra, something of a flirt, … Another source of resentment can be Libra’s extravagant nature which clashes with the Taurus need to stick to a budget…”.Now do you believe this??
Mom(dumbfounded and pondering) :Hmm..OK tell me which month does Leo belongs to?Now we will start looking that too*Sigh*I really doubt whether there would be a guy with all these criteria “intelligent,attitude,self respect,humour sense,reader,traveller, music lover,your photo feeling and now a Leo too..”
And with that last dialogue my depressed and perplexed mom went from my room and I resumed browsing
P.S : Trying my hand at writing comedy for the first time.
Welcome your comments!!
December 7th, 2009 at 19:00
whah!!! d asha tinge as usual turning situations to comedy…lol
keep up d gud wrk dear…
December 7th, 2009 at 19:00
Mins,
I am flying
December 7th, 2009 at 19:00
oru dialogue maathrame parayunnullu…
Al the best…
December 8th, 2009 at 19:00
Enikkum onne parayaanullu..
Danx
December 8th, 2009 at 19:00
LOL !!! I went a few months back when I read this !!!
Till about July, this was the situation in my home too ; jaadagavum pandaaravum. Madhiyaayi manushyanu !!! 
Mine was a shudhanil shudha jaadagam and getting a girl was too tough !! It took almost 3 years and somewhere in June, my parents said they got fed up!!! 
Btw, Im an Arian too; born on Apr 4th 81.
I started reading a few posts of yours and in all of them I did find a dose of humor. You know what, Im blogrolling you right away !!
December 8th, 2009 at 19:00
Hmm… good one..
You did have humoursense even earlier… Who said you didn’t?
December 8th, 2009 at 19:00
Asha dont give up.. you will be succesfull
You can take me as an example
(By the way Divya told me another story..:D )
December 8th, 2009 at 19:00
Vimmuuu,
You took 3 years..OMG!!Enne pedippikkalle..Are you saying that I too may have to wait for another 3 yrs..??Mookkil pallu mulachittaano ini ente kalyanam nadakkua??*nhaaaa…*
It’s my pleasure 
Hoi hoi..Same pinch
Why didn’t you tell me earlier that you were Aries..??Aries and Aries can make a good match
Odikkooo…
And thanks for blogrolling
December 8th, 2009 at 19:00
You,
When I started writing I thought comedy would turn to tragedy 
Thank you
Asmin,
Don’t believe that lies.. 
Munpe gamikkunna govu thante pimpe gamikkum bahugokkalellaaam..
And what story did Divya tell??That I have registered my profile in a matrimonial site and I am fed up of sending requests??
December 8th, 2009 at 19:00
mookilu pallu molakkukayo, pora niranju nikkukayo cheyyum !!
Take my suggestion, those matrimonial sites are a waste of time. Theres something called malayogam; that worked for many including me 
btw, aa aries inte kaaryam..adu kurachu nerathey arinjirunnegilllll……(jayan style)
December 8th, 2009 at 19:00
btw, that word verifier is such a turn off !! ini njaan ADU paranjillaannu vendaa !
December 8th, 2009 at 19:00
Vimmuuu,
“that worked for many including me ”
Ennittum rakshayilla 
Nhhaa..
- I dont think it will work in my case because it’s already done..
I took your suggestion..Will try to remove that word verifier.Spams kure aayappo vechatha..lemme see..
December 8th, 2009 at 19:00
Swanthan achane blogil cheetha parayunna aadhyathe aalu nee aayirikkum….. Ninakku achane parayunnathu ithrakku ishtam aanengil ende aduthu paranjal pore…. njan parayille…
December 9th, 2009 at 19:00
Vinu chetta,
Ee vayassaan kaalath molkk vendi pedunna paadu kaanumpol aaraayaalum onnu paranju povum.. theriyalla..ayyo paavam ennu
Angane osinu ente achane theri vilikkaannu vichaarikkanda tta…
December 9th, 2009 at 19:00
nice one…keep posting!!!
December 9th, 2009 at 19:00
eee post hit ayallo
December 10th, 2009 at 19:00
Sreekanthetta,
Thank you..Thank you..
You,
Chummathonnumalla..cheap publicity koduthittaa..
December 10th, 2009 at 19:00
Actually I was thinking of blogging on my search for a partner, but have decided not to after reading this blog – I won’t be able to make it as good.
About the ratio – I don’t think the sex ratio has been of much help to me after being in the search for more than a year…
December 10th, 2009 at 19:00
Gasper,
You too have this horoscope issues..??
EE horoscope kandu pidichavane kandaal njan eppo konnoonnu chothichaal madhi..Drohi!!
And write your experience..I am sure it will be full of high standard fun
December 11th, 2009 at 19:00
Asha…
We don’t consider horoscope, but various other issues… There are 4-5 parties involved.
I will try putting it into words, but I want to read Chetan Bhagat’s latest work before that… [:P] Could help me break my inhibitions… [:D]
December 11th, 2009 at 19:00
I have started reading 2 states.Very interesting..Oho..athu sheri appo athaanu avastha
December 12th, 2009 at 19:00
hooi.. ashae its really a guud one… keep this sprit up…
angu thagarthalooo..!!!!
hehe….
hav become a fan of urs.. expecting more lik this..
December 13th, 2009 at 19:00
Ponnappaaaaa…
Danke..Danke..
December 14th, 2009 at 19:00
Ashe,
Dee ende chetten ipolum kalyanam kazhichittilla….
Alochikano??????
December 15th, 2009 at 19:00
sheriyaa aashe….
ninakku chekkane kandu pidikkan achan kurachonnum kashtapettal pora….. angeru iniyum join cheyuun….. NSS-il aale kittathappol SNDPyil cherum…. pinne PDP yil cherum…… [:D]… avasanam naattil ullathokke theernnu States-il (Tamil Nadu States) pokumbol ninakku pattiya chekkane kittum………….
December 16th, 2009 at 19:00
Akhi,
..SO when will I get your brother’s horoscope ?? 
:)
This is what is called friendship
Vinu chetta,
Chettanu Tamil Nadu-kaarod valla sathruthayum undo??
December 17th, 2009 at 19:00
bayangaram bayangaram!
January 19th, 2010 at 19:00
വളരെ ആസ്വാദ്യകരമായ രചന…
March 30th, 2010 at 19:00
may the marriage happen soon. i just landed here through a google search.. god bless